VALERIE!!!!

If you see this, please respond so I can FIND YOU!!! Unfortunately, I am not gifted enough to see who's following my blog, so I haven't been able to find you that way.

Here we go...again

The hubby and I have been hard at work this cycle and I'm crossing my phalanges. However, I've decided not to be too disappointed if I get yet another BFN. Geez, you'd think I would be accustomed to them by now, huh? If we are pregnant this month, I believe it would be an October baby. I would then have birthdays as follows, July, October, November, and December...ha! Am I asking for it or what?! I was hoping for a spring baby, but yeah, that's not going to happen. I have met some wonderful people on "The Misdiagnosed Miscarriage" website. These are some of the most helpful, sincere, and sweetest women and I feel so at home with them. We all have that one maternal goal in common, to become pregnant with a healthy pregnancy and a resulting beautiful baby. I was so amazed to see how many women not only miscarry, but how difficult it has been to become pregnant. Seems so easy, right? You're a woman, you get pregnant, and you have a baby. Sike! Not for all of us. Some of us have to struggle and do some pretty radiculous things to become pregnant. It's all so crazy that you would think we were "men" trying to get pregnant! I am being quite positive this month - I don't know why, but I am. I guess it's because I finally realized that it's either going to happen or it's not and nothing I do is really going to change that, as it's truly up to the Man above. All I can do is hope that he hears my prayers and gives me His blessing...

Wow, 2009 is almost here already.

Well, here we are - tis almost the end of yet another year. I was so hoping I would have a positive pregnancy test to wrap and give to my husband on Christmas day, but it was not to be. I think I was more disappointed this time than any other... January was my due date of the baby I lost in June and that month is fast approaching. Although I have come to terms with my loss, it's hard not to think how unfair it is that I will not be holding my bundle of joy on that date. I will never know if it was a boy or a girl or if it looked like me or (as usual) like its daddy. How is it possible to miss a child you never even gave birth to?? Even if I were pregnant right now, I would never forget about the baby I lost.

HAPPY 12th BIRTHDAY, NICK!

My little man is 12 today! Yayyyy. Wow - I know this sounds cliche, but damn my kids are growing too fast!

When Chris and I got up this morning, we wanted to sing Nick Happy Birthday in a speacial way, so we took 8 chocolate donuts, put 12 candles on them, and sang it to him. He was also informed that he has NO chores today...he was very happy about that ;)

Later when his father gets home, Nick gets to pick the restaraunt that he wants for dinner (please say Red Lobster!!! hehe) where we will have a small party with his buddy Dawson. He will then get a gift and a choice of going to Daytona or Fun Spot where we will continue his birthday festivities!

NEGATIVE, NEGATIVE, NEGATIVE!!!

Unreal - still no baby after five months. I don't know how much longer I can take seeing these negative tests, they're just so, well -NEGATIVE! I can't shake the feeling that something must be wrong with me. My nephew was kind enough to say, "Aunt Charlotte, you're too old to be having a baby." ha! Although I was seriously offended by that statement, maybe he's right. Perhaps I should just count my blessings and move on. I am just very saddened today because I just got a BFN on CD 26, DPO 12. I figure if I were pregnant, there should have been at least a faint, faint, only-I-can-see-it line, but there's not...

HAPPY 6th BIRTHDAY, CHRISSY-POO

Today is my baby's 6th birthday! Aww, man! This stupid thing won't let me post his B-Day party video! Very disappointed, Google! I'll try again later.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BOO - I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!

My Boys

Pic #1: Matt, my oldest baby on the right, his Best Bud, Travis on the left, and the rest of the gang ;)

Pic #2: Nick (a.k.a. The Duke)

Pic #3: Chrissy's first day of kindergarten :( I miss you all day, Boo!

We're still working on a new baby and we are hoping to have the "Golden Ticket" this month! If not, there's always next month ;)

The boys are doing great in school. Chris (my youngest - see pic above) just started kindergarten (at his request - he changed his mind and decided he wanted to attend public school), Nick's home school cirriculum is going great, and my oldest, who is in his senior year of high school, is going to the college full time since he's completed all his high school credits.

These kids are so cool - I mean super cool! My oldest son has such great judgment of people and has a wonderful group of friends. This makes it so much easier on me when he goes out with them - even though I still tend to worry and call him a few times ;)

Nick has decided to try acting/modeling and I have taken a few pictures of him. He's so photogenic (see pic above). I have talent scouts asking me about him all the time, but so far there is no work in Florida, and unfortunately, Nick has an extreme fear of flying (which I hope he will overcome soon).

Chris is really doing good at sounding out words now and he can even read. He started kindergarten 7 weeks behind the other kids, but is totally caught up with them.

I'm so proud of all of them. I'm very lucky to have such great kids and a wonderful hubby.